On the ServiceNow NowLearning platform, the Power Skills section offers valuable Udemy courses for professionals. Among them, Jessica Chen’s “Communications for New Managers” stood out, particularly for those who are what I call “accidental managers.”

1. Natural Leaders vs. Accidental Managers

Some people are naturals in management roles— typically extroverts who this aura to energize teams through human connection. They lead through attitude rather than exemplifying technical expertise.

However, many managers—often engineers or subject matter experts—enter leadership because of their skills, not their people focus. For them, managing people is simply a means to achieve goals which can be personal (earning more) or professional (be in a position to decide).

In this video, Steve Jobs talks about and encourages what i relate as “accidental managers”:

2. Managing Nerves and Negative Self-Talk

New managers, especially introverts, typically experience impostor syndrome and self-doubt. It can help to some extent, as it leads to better plan and prepare. But there is the overwhelming emotional part. Tools from psychology can help:

• Detach and reframe: Acknowledge that you are not what you think. Example: “Rescheduling a meeting because I am not ready is unprofessional. I am not trustable” becomes “I value people’s time and I want to make good use of it. In the end, no one cares as much as I do. For all we know, it might suit them better; they might be the ones who won’t show up or who will ask to reschedule if I don’t. “

3. Facing Reality: Work is Work

Corporate culture (mostly from the US) often glorifies work as “exciting” and “passionate,” but let’s be real: most people work because they need to. If they win $20 Millions at the lottery today, you won’t see them at the stand-up meeting tomorrow morning. A very few people actually have their work as a hobby. As a manager, pretending otherwise can make you seem out of touch. Being authentic goes further than forced positivity.

On the other end, work throws at your face a fair share of frustrating processes, boring and repetitive activities, some which cannot be fixed immediately. Again Work is Work, so sometimes, the message is to bite the bullet, and move on.

4. It’s About Them, Not You

Team members approach work differently. Some prioritize family, others ambition, or personal passions. If you are a manager who take pride at displaying a strong identity like a movie character, for others to deal with, and they’ll all get the same soup, it’s about you.

Another approach is to adapt your communication and management style to meet team members where they are at a point in time. There are different personalities, and they can go through different times in their lives (a shy guy who will become a father, an ambitious lady who missed her targets)

Avoid venting frustrations: It can seem smart, as a way to show you empathize, ti join in complaints about the company, to show “you are in the same team” but that helps no one. Be the steady anchor your team needs.

5. Navigating Group Dynamics

In group settings, dominant voices often overshadow others. It is not so easy, but try to

• Offer multiple channels for input (written memos, slides, pre-meeting prep).
• Keep spoken discussions last to empower quieter team members to contribute confidently.

6. Meetings: You are in the Captain’s Seat

Meetings can make or break your credibility as a manager. Think of yourself as the Captain—you need a clear direction and and roadmap, so your crew knows they are in good hands. Before every meeting, answer a few questions:

• What’s the goal?
• How much time do we have?
• What’s the roadmap of the meeting? Usually setting the context, voicing the questions at hand and addressing each question one by one, closing.
• What’s expected from whom?
• What decisions or outcomes do I need?

If you can’t answer these questions, reconsider whether the meeting is necessary and whether you are ready.

7. Difficult Feedback

Receiving bad news is hard. A valued employee resigning is a good example. First times, it almost feel like you are being dumped by you first girl/boyfriend for a more attractive one, and your reaction can be mildly similar: putting up a drama, over-talking, exaggerating, acting like it is a betrayal.

With time you will realize that people leaving is nothing about you (most of the time), and you should value the relationship beyond the company bounds.

The statement ““People don’t quit companies, they quit bosses” sounds powerful. In my opinion, it is an unfair oversimplification of all the forces at play that influence a decision.

Delivering bad news is even harder. Denying raises or even letting go an employee are the most difficult to do in your life as a manager.

Few tips I found useful

• Have a plan but be direct : Avoid small talk, and set a serious tone from the get go. It is no joke for the one receiving the news. Also be final and aware of the options, and possible demands, and what you can do. The worst is to enter the meeting with a clear intent and exit it with half-baked results (E.g. start the meeting willing to announce “you won’t get your full variable”, ending with “Let’s see if I can get approval to remove the variable next quarter if again you don’t meet your objectives”).
• Be sensitive about timing: If you have to give a bad news, I suggest in the late afternoon after the rest of the team has left to avoid embarrassment. It ideally gives space for reflection.
• Stay constructive: Focus on that behavior that led to a mismatch or issue, not character of the individual and outline clear improvement steps.

8. Body Language: Don’t Overthink It

While body language matters, obsessing over gestures or posture can make you look awkward and undermine your confidence. Focus on authenticity and clear messaging—your team will follow your lead.

Final Thoughts

In this article I expanded my thoughts way beyond Jessica Chen’s course, and there are areas of the course I didn’t mention at all. If you liked this article I’m confident you will like this course.